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Polls indicate that between 55 and 80 percent of gay males participate in anal sex. Four percent of the adult population is gay, or 7,600,000 people. There are 190,000,000 adults between the ages of 18 and 65 in the United States, so that means 70,771,200 adults are engaging in heterosexual anal sex.
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Ninety-six percent of Americans are straight. Averaging those numbers, let’s say 38.8 percent of heterosexuals engage in anal sex. Some studies put the incidence of anal sex in the heterosexual population as low as 24 percent and some as high as 56 percent. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention,” a commenter whom I’m going to quote at length (hey, Baconcat!) wrote on a blog in reaction to Elliott’s remarks, “40 percent of men and 35 percent of women between 25 and 44 had engaged in heterosexual anal sex. “According to a 2005 survey conducted by the U.S. Make sure there’s some fibre in your diet, be regular, and only go for it when you’re empty-no anal during your butt menses!-and you’ll never get excrement on a single wigglin’ dick.Īnd now a question for you, Representative Elliott: are you really sure you want to make it illegal for buttfuckers to get married? I will concede that excrement is for anal what Representative Elliott is for the New Hampshire state legislature: a PR disaster. (Except for the people who do want a mess, of course, but they’re a blessed rarity.) An empty, douched, and lubed anal cavity isn’t that much dirtier than an empty, flossed, and brushed oral cavity.
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So let me break it down for you, Representative Elliott: you don’t have anal sex with an ass full of shit for the same reason you don’t have oral sex with a mouth full of food.
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You would think this would be obvious even to people who’ve never had anal sex, but apparently not. If you’re wiggling your penis around in excrement when you’re having anal sex, Representative Elliott, you’re doing it wrong. And you have to think”¦ would I allow that to be done to me?” Nancy Elliott, a state representative in New Hampshire, wants to ban same-sex marriage in that state-where it’s been legal for less than three months-and here’s her reasoning: “We’re talking about taking the penis of one man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wiggling it around in excrement. And yes, your husband should stop pestering you about it, NEA, but you do have to let him grieve-grieve for the ass he isn’t going to get from you and, if you’re monogamous, grieve for the ass he isn’t going to get anywhere else. Okay, NEA, getting back to your ass: you tried it, you didn’t like it, and you don’t have to keep doing it. While it would be wonderful if every couple’s sex life consisted entirely of acts that both partners found equally thrilling-so egalitarian! So fairzees!-a fulfilling sex life is too important, particularly for monogamous couples, to trust in coincidence alone. “I could TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT” or “There’s nothing in that for ME” or “That leaves me COLD” are not good enough reasons to refuse to occasionally indulge your spouse in whatever it is that gets him/her off.
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That said, NEA, we are each entitled to our likes and dislikes.īut before I let you off the anal hook: I’m assuming that your all-caps emphasis-“NOT my bag”, “don’t enjoy it AT ALL”-means that you find anal penetration to be a physical trial and/or an emotional torment. And I frequently like to remind married people-particularly married people who value monogamy-that they willingly assumed sole responsibility for their spouse’s sexual fulfillment. I think we should all be-as I’ve written about a hundred thousand times-good (in bed), giving (of pleasure, of indulgences), and game (for very nearly anything), aka GGG. Do I need to give in, or does he need to get off my back? He thinks I’m being unreasonable I think he is. I’m pretty GGG, Dan, but this is one thing where I draw the line. He thinks if we just keep trying, eventually I’ll come around to liking it. But my husband will not stop pestering me. We have tried it in the past, and it is NOT my bag.
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However, there is one issue that is driving me insane: my husband constantly pesters me to have anal sex. We’re not terribly adventurous, but we’re not totally vanilla, either. I’m writing to you to settle a dispute between my husband and me.